Montag, 30. Juli 2007
Hungry Five Minutes
By Steve (aka)
Here I lay hungrily wriggling my fingers and toes and thinking of nothing but my next snack, too fat to do much else than this. Too fat to even tell my boyfriend to bring me a chicken or a cake or even a measly ten-pound box of chocolates. Oh, I'm not too fat to move my mouth. I can chew and swallow alright but I've got so much fat accumulated around my cheeks, jowls and neck that I can't speak much above an unintelligible whisper. Certainly way too fat to even think of getting out of bed to retrieve myself a little snack. I don't think my legs are strong enough to lift my fat body since I haven't used 'em in eight years. That's how long it's been since I last stood; I haven't left my bed for eight years and don't have the strength to try it now. Hell, I haven't even seen my legs for five years because they are completely buried under my massive gut. Which brings me to another obstacle: my massive gut! Even if I could lift myself onto my poor fat little legs I'd probably trip over my own big belly. My gut is so fat that while I lay here in my extra wide king size bed it falls over the end and plops onto the floor ahead of me for a good solid three feet or so (depending of course on how much eating I've been doing). Even if my belly wasn't a problem my fat thighs would be. So fat are they that I couldn't move them much more than an inch or so at a time. It'd take me about an hour just to cross the bedroom to the fridge twelve feet away. Besides that my calves are so fat that they completely envelop my tiny feet and I'd probably trip over the bottoms of my calf-fat as I waddled in vain to fill my aching belly. Whew, just thinking about that is enough to tucker me out! And make me HUNGRY!
If only I could move my arms I could wave or at least flap to my boyfriend that I am in gustatory distress over here but I haven't moved my arms in about three years. First my upper arms got so fat that they overflowed my elbows and covered almost my entire forearms making bending them impossible. Then my forearms got so fat that they flowed over my wrists, engulfing my hands and making them useless. Even if I could move my arms they'd still be trapped by my breasts. My tits are so fat they stretch to either side of my paunch and engulf my arms as they fall heavily to the floor at either side of my bed. My arms are completely pinned to my fat sides by my breasts. I can't even move my head due to the aforementioned face and neck fat. The only movement I can muster is the nervous undulations of my fat fingers and toes as I hungrily knead them back and forth against all the layers of fat they are buried under. I slowly begin to relax, the kneading motion is soothing, almost like kneading bread.
Mmmm, bread! I could go for about six or seven loaves right now, totally soaked in gallons and gallons of melted butter!
Ok, that does it, I need something to eat and I need it now! I have to draw attention to my desperate hunger so I do the only thing I can think of, I start making smacking noises with my mouth. My boyfriend finally hears my pathetic pleas for food and bursts into my room.
"Jesus, Sweetie, you'd think you were starving to death the way you're acting. You just got done polishing off your afternoon snack of a dozen pizzas not more than five minutes ago but here, I'll feed you a couple of pies and cakes to keep your belly occupied until dinner, and if that doesn't quite do it I've got a couple of ten pound boxes of chocolates for you. But don't fill up on all this because I'm making you a twenty-pound turkey with all the trimmings for dinner. Twelve courses total and I expect you to eat it all. I don't wanna have to get out of bed to feed you more than twice tonight."
I slurp him my approval and plop my mouth open to be fed my little snack and dreamily think about dinner, although I don't think a measly twelve courses will even dent my appetite. If dinner is too small he may have to get up four or five times to feed me tonight. He'll probably be mad but he'll do it because my guy knows that the way to this woman's heart is through her stomach and, boy, is it a BIG stomach!